Empty Arms?

 

 

I am sharing this for all women who, like me, have never had the opportunity to hold their own baby in their arms.

Having empty arms can be a result of infertility (like me), still born babies, babies that have been lost due to SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), and many other reasons.

First, I will share a little of my own experience:

As a result of an abortion at age 15 I have suffered 5 miscarriages, with 3 of them being tubal pregnancies requiring emergency surgery, and also very near death experiences for me. Therefore, I am now unable to have any children of my own. Although the loss of my children happened several years ago, there is still much pain there that the Lord continues to heal.

Empty Arms Syndrome is basically a void, a hole or an emptiness that gnaws at your heart after the loss of a child. The empty arms of a woman desires a child almost more than life itself.

There are several ways that Jesus has used to help me with experiencing "empty arms syndrome", though even to this day going to baby showers, walking through the baby department in the stores and going to church on Mother's Day is very difficult to do.

1. When I completed going through an abortion recovery group* and Bible study, I felt led to give back by helping others receive healing also. As a group leader in the recovery group, the Lord brings a deeper healing for myself each time I go through with others. At the end of the 12 week recovery group is a memorial service, where we honor the babies that have been lost to abortion. I decided during one of our memorial services to also honor the babies that I had lost to miscarriage as a result of the abortion. It was so very healing for me to be able to give my babies their names and hold a handmade doll in my arms and lay them at the foot of the cross. At the memorial service we allow the women to choose a handmade doll to represent each baby lost to abortion. Having something in your arms to lay down at the cross is such healing to our hearts, it is hard to put into words. This experience brings much honor and closure to the loss of those babies that most people don't even acknowledge ever existed. Just because they were never brought into this world doesn't mean that they didn't exist. When a baby is living inside a mother's womb, it has as much life as a baby living outside a mother's womb.

2. One of my friends who had just had a baby was letting me hold it when she said "getting your baby fix, huh Nona?" This was quite a revelation for me because I didn't realize that was what I was doing, but it was. It is hard to describe the awesome feeling of being able to hold an infant in your arms when you have never had the opportunity to have your own. It is very comforting and peaceful. So, obviously holding and caring for, or even babysitting other people's babies is a good way to fill in the empty arms. It does help a lot, although I do remember one of the first times I held a baby years after my abortion, I started crying. It was just automatic, I didn't expect it at all. I had several opportunities to babysit a loved one's babies, and it was such a blessing.

3. Another way the Lord has used babies for further healing of my own heart is He led me one year to volunteer in the nursery at church during a revival we were having. I think I may have done that for a year. This work was so very rewarding for me in so many ways. I actually experienced a miscarriage during the time that I was serving in the nursery. You would be amazed how much strength the Lord can give you to go through something like that. I even was required to work in a baby department at one of my jobs, which was very strangely comforting for me at the time.

4. I have also always been a big fan of stuffed animals. One of the books that I have read on "empty arms" says that it is good to have a teddy bear or some other stuffed animal in your home to hold onto when your arms are aching for holding a baby. It sounds silly, but it really works.

5. One of the most recent ways that the Lord is helping me overcome my childlessness is He has blessed me and my roommate with a dog to raise together. I have always been a cat person in the past, so this is the first time I have ever raised a dog. Huge difference, since cats pretty much take care of themselves. Raising a dog, to me, is just like raising a child in so many ways. It is a very huge responsibility. Dogs love you unconditionally, just like children do. Now I understand why people call their dogs their babies, because they are. Some people even put clothes on them. I understand now, it’s just amazing, how God has brought so much healing to my heart through this loving creature He created. I always wanted a son, now I have a canine one.

6. Here are some great books that I have read on "empty arms":

"I'll Hold You In Heaven" by Jack Hayford       "Empty Arms" by Pam Vredevelt

7. This is a link where you can read a precious chapter in the Bible that the Lord wrote specifically for women who are childless: http://www.eaglesrestoration.com/MessageforHurtingWomen

8. I also had the opportunity to have a nameplate placed on the wall of names at the National Memorial for the Unborn (http://www.memorialfortheunborn.org/) in memory of my child who was aborted, as well as having a brick placed in the prayer garden there for my babies who were lost to miscarriage.

 

 

     

 

 

                

 

 

 

 

 

                  * To find an abortion recovery group in your area

       call the National Helpline for Abortion Recovery at 1-866-482-LIFE

                                                             or

                  visit their website at http://www.nationalhelpline.org/

 

This is Not Your Only Choice

Every day in America women are forced into abortions against their will. They are subjected to unrelenting psychological pressure, threats, blackmail, verbal abuse and physical violence...until they "choose" to have their own babies aborted.

The following blog is taken from the booklet "This Is Not Your Only Choice", written by Human Life Alliance.

----------------------------------------

(Abortion Isn’t the Answer)

I was raped and got pregnant. Nobody told me the abortion would hurt more emotionally than the rape. — Maya

I realized the child in my womb didn’t deserve to die because of the crime of her father.

In a study of pregnant rape victims, Dr. Sandra Mahkorn found that 75 to 85 percent chose against abortion. Joan Kemp, a rape crisis center counselor, said, “I am familiar with no case of incest-related abortion that did not make matters worse for the victim.” Studies also show that incest victims rarely ever voluntarily agree to abortion. Instead of viewing the pregnancy as unwanted, the incest victim is more likely to see the pregnancy as a way out of the incestuous relationship because the birth of her child will expose the sexual activity.

If You are Raped:

•• Don’t blame yourself; it’s not your fault.

•• Don’t shower. It could wash away important evidence.

•• Go immediately to the hospital and report the
crime to the authorities.

•• You may be offered emergency contraception, but be

aware that if fertilization has occurred, emergency

contraception may cause an abortion.

•• Get in touch with a support group that specializes
in helping rape victims.

•• Many attackers count on the silence of their victims.

Empower yourself by revealing your attacker and going

through the entire legal process. It is so important that you

report the rape! It may be difficult, but do it for yourself,

and do it so that no one else has to experience the same

trauma you went through.

Researchers David C. Reardon, Julie Makimaa, and Amy Sobie completed a nine-year study on pregnancy outcomes of sexual assault victims. As part of their research the authors found that after any abortion, it is common for women to experience guilt, depression, feelings of being “dirty,” resentment of men, and lowered self-esteem.

These feelings are identical to what women typically feel after rape.

Abortion only adds to and accentuates the traumatic feelings associated with sexual assault. Rather than easing the psychological burdens, abortion adds to them.

   SCARED?

  (Don’t Give up Hope...)
       PREGNANCY RESOURCE CENTERS

Option Line - 24 hour

(English and Spanish)

1-800-712-HELP (4357)

http://www.optionline.org/

Pregnancy Hot Line - 24 hour

1-800-848-LOVE (5683)

http://www.nationallifecenter.com/

Birthright - 24 hour

1-800-550-4900

http://www.birthright.org/

Pregnancy Decision Line - 24 hour

1-800-395-HELP (4357)

http://www.pregnancydecisionline.org/

                                             
      YOU HAVE RIGHTS
(No One Can Legally Force a Woman to Have an Abortion)

               For more information, go to the Center Against Forced Abortions (CAFA) at

                                                     http://www.thejusticefoundation.org/
                            You may also call The Justice Foundation toll-free at 1-866-468-8279.



IF YOU HAVE ALREADY HAD AN ABORTION

(Experiencing Regret? Depression? Suicidal Thoughts?)

                                                                   National Helpline for Abortion

                                                                         Recovery – 24 hour

1-866-482-LIFE (5433)

http://www.nationalhelpline.org/

Abortion Recovery InterNational

www.abortionrecovery.org

              

Conversation With My Lord 3-2-12

Then the Lord answered me and
said: 'Write the vision and make
it plain on tablets, that he may run
who reads it.' Habakkuk 2:2



I have been asking the Lord to give me something to share in this blog and He told me to share the conversations that we have with each other in my journal. In a post abortion Bible study group that I was a part of years ago, the leader gave us an idea of how to journal during the 12 weeks of the study and after that. She told us how she personally spent time with the Lord in her journal by starting out writing what was in her heart to the Lord using a blue or black pen, and then she would set that pen down and pick up a red pen and pause and listen to what the Holy Spirit would say to her heart in response, then write it down. I really loved the idea and have been using it ever since that time. The enemy tried to lie to me in the beginning and say that I wasn't really hearing God's voice, but when I would go back and read what was written in RED, then I knew it was Him, because I know His voice.
I would like to share with you a few things in my conversation with the Lord from 3-2-12:

Dear Lord,
I love You with all of my heart. Forgive me of my sins, in thought, word and deed. Help me to be more like You. I feel like You have something to say to me today. Speak to my heart, Jesus, I'm listening....

My dearest Nona,
You are so precious in My sight and I love you with all My heart too. I have more love to give you than you could ever imagine. You are welcome to share any of our conversations with others that you want to. You are free to share, so that others will know that they too can talk with Me this way. I AM your Counselor, and I want others to receive My counsel too. So many do not know that I actually speak to people beyond My written Word, but I do. How do you think My written Word came about? I have always spoken to My people since the beginning of time and I will continue to until we are all together in eternity. I want My people to know that they can have a personal relationship with Me at any time of the day or night, not just when they are in church or in a Bible study. Many of My people don't even have a Bible, but they have Me in their hearts. Share My words to you, Nona. Don't be afraid. I am tired of My people being so afraid of Me that they don't know the difference between My voice and the voice of the enemy. Show them the way, my daughter. Be free! Continue to do what I've called you to do. Speak what I've called you to speak. I will help you like I always do. You can do this. I AM the lover of your soul, and I want others to know this also. My Bride has many members that haven't been reached. You are reaching them, even if you don't realize it.
Don't give up, my child.
Love,
Daddy God

ABORTION HURTS WOMEN

My name is Nona Ellington.


Thank you for the honor of sharing my personal testimony with you of how abortion hurt me.




When I was 13 years old, I was raped by a family member, who stole my virginity. After that experience, I was covered with shame and low self esteem. At 15 years old, I began dating a boy at high school who was quite popular, and I would hang out with him to smoke marijuana. He took me to his cousin's house one day after school and forced me into having sex before I even knew what was happening. I didn't realize at the time that it was "date rape". Shortly after that event, he broke up with me and then I realized I was pregnant. My shame was deepened when the ex boyfriend denied that the baby was his.

My sister, several friends and Planned Parenthood coerced me into having an abortion, giving me no other options, telling me it is what I needed to do since I was so young and still in high school.

After the abortion, I spiraled into very destructive behavior, more drugs, alcohol and promiscuous sex to fill the empty void. This led to getting married to a very abusive man for 18 years. I also attempted suicide by cutting myself during a time of severe depression.

During the marriage, as a result of the abortion, I had 5 miscarriages, 3 of them tubal pregnancies which required emergency surgery and very near death experiences. I have never been able to have children, as a result of the abortion at age 15.

Finally, after several years of hurting, I attended an abortion recovery Bible study, where I received healing and forgiveness through Jesus Christ. I also learned through Jesus how to forgive myself. I was able to honor my baby lost to abortion and also those I miscarried, as a result, in a memorial service. Soon after, I had the honor of leading others through the healing process and also the opportunity to help women in the state prison find healing after abortion.

Thank you again for the opportunity to share my heart with you about how abortion affected my life. May God bless each and every one of you!

In The Bible Days

That is why the Holy Spirit says, “Today when you hear His voice, don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled, when they tested Me in the wilderness. You must warn each other every day, while it is still “today,” so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God. For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ. Remember what it says: “Today when you hear His voice, don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled.” Hebrews 3:7,8,13-15

As I was in the Word the other day, I was thinking of the expression that all people use, both believers and unbelievers..."Back in the Bible days." What I realized is that the days and the life we are living right now, at this moment, are recorded in our Holy Bible. Yes, our past is recorded, but our present and our future is also.

Most of our preachers are speaking on the "Last Days" we are obviously living in now. The world even knows that we are living in the "Last Days". You can tell by the news reports and the movies being shown. I have noticed more and more how those in the world, who are not claiming to be Christians, are quoting Bible scriptures and mentioning the words pray, prayer and praying quite often on secular TV programming.

I understand that some may not be praying to our One and Only True God of the Universe, but they all know that there is an urgent need for prayer on this earth. We know that we can't handle the disasters that are happening daily on our own.

Here are some scriptures that speak of the here and now:

He will keep you strong to the end so that you will be free from all blame on the day when our Lord Jesus Christ returns.
1 Corinthians 1:8

Nation will go to war against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in many parts of the world, as well as famines. But this is only the first of the birth pains, with more to come. For the Good News must first be preached to all nations. And everyone will hate you because you are My followers. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. Watch out! I have warned you about this ahead of time!
Mark 13:8,10,13,23

You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!
2 Timothy 3:1-5

Prayer:
Dear Lord,
Help us to honor Your Holy Word and to defend it at all times. When we or others refer to it as "in the Bible days", help us to realize that we are living Your Word right now and that Your written Word is not just a history book of our past, but a guide book and love letter from You to study daily, so that we can be prepared for our present and future that You have already recorded in it. Help us to live our lives to honor You, one day at a time.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen

In closing:
But you, my dear friends, must remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ said. They told you that in the last times there would be scoffers whose purpose in life is to satisfy their ungodly desires. These people are the ones who are creating divisions among you. They follow their natural instincts because they do not have God’s Spirit in them. But you, dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit, and await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will bring you eternal life. In this way, you will keep yourselves safe in God’s love. And you must show mercy to those whose faith is wavering. Rescue others by snatching them from the flames of judgment. Show mercy to still others, but do so with great caution, hating the sins that contaminate their lives. Now all glory to God, who is able to keep you from falling away and will bring you with great joy into His glorious presence without a single fault. All glory to Him who alone is God, our Savior through Jesus Christ our Lord. All glory, majesty, power, and authority are His before all time, and in the present, and beyond all time! Amen.
Jude 17-25

?UNITED? STATES OF AMERICA

Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand." Matthew 12:25

If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. Mark 3:24

I was wanting to write this blog earlier in this month, in honor of our nation's 235th birthday, but I am just now getting it done.

During this month, I just recently, for the first time, read the Constitution of the United States. It was sent to me by Liberty Counsel in the form of a pocket sized handbook. It also included the Declaration of Independence and other important quotes from key leaders in our nation.

Reading the documents that formed our nation made me truly realize how un united and actually divided our nation has become. When the leaders of our nation started ignoring God and the Constitution and stopped praying together, then the "People", which is all of us "under God" and under our leaders, began to follow suit and do the same things..... How sad.

Here are some scriptures that have touched my heart concerning America:

Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people He chose for his inheritance. Psalms 33:12

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. Galatians 5:13

There will be joy and songs of thanksgiving, and I will multiply My people and make of them a great and honored nation.
Their children will prosper as they did long ago. I will establish them as a nation before Me, and I will punish anyone who hurts them.
They will have their own ruler again, and he will not be a foreigner. I will invite him to approach Me, says the Lord, for who would dare to come unless invited?
You will be My people, and I will be your God. Jeremiah 30:19-22

...."I will put My law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be My people. 
No longer will they teach their neighbor, or say to one another, ‘Know the LORD,’ because they will all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest,” declares the LORD. “For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no more.” Jeremiah 31:33-34

Please join us in a call to prayer for a nation in crisis on Saturday August 6, 2011 at The Response USA: http://theresponseusa.com/

If My people, who are called by My Name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14

Prayer:
Dear Lord,
I humble myself before You, my King. Forgive me for my many sins and the sins of my nation. forgive us for the shedding of innocent blood and for allowing Your Name and Your Word to be removed from our public schools. I am seeking Your face today Jesus. Our nation does not deserve Your mercy, grace or kindness, but I am asking for Your Divine intervention once again for America to be "United" in You. Help us to stand united, even though we have fallen so far from You. Help us all to be willing and obedient to Your Word, that our nation was built upon.
In Jesus' Name, Amen

Who We Are IN Christ

The following scriptures have helped me to learn and understand my identity, of who I am in Christ.
The enemy of our soul loves to make us feel unworthy and full of shame and confusion.
The Word of God, through these passages, defeats these attacks of the enemy, as we speak them out loud and continue to believe them in our heart.
All are taken from the Holy Bible-New Living Translation

Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. Romans 3:24

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! II Corinthians 5:17

 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10

Oh, how generous and gracious our Lord was! He filled me with the faith and love that come from Christ Jesus. I Timothy 1:14

For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith. I John 5:4

When the seventy-two disciples returned, they joyfully reported to him, “Lord, even the demons obey us when we use your name!” Luke 10:17

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:7

God has united you with Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made him to be wisdom itself. Christ made us right with God; he made us pure and holy, and he freed us from sin. I Corinthians 1:30

“You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden." Matthew 5:14